There will be no long essay update from me this week as I’m triaging my time pretty tightly this week. That’s because I’ll be taking Friday, Saturday and Sunday to ride 200 miles to Providence, RI in support of the Jack Brown appeal (a portion of the donations made to Team Continuum goes to this cause) and that, coupled with training and starting a company, puts me pretty tight on time this week. Click here to donate if you haven’t already.
So think of it this way, I’m saving valuable real-estate in your e-mail or blog reader. As you enjoy this blog silence, please consider donating J Did I mention please donate?
I may have reinjured myself slightly running, so I’m resting my leg just in case (yes Susan, you were right L ). My 200 mile bike ride starts this Friday so that’s the focus this week. Separately, given the consistent feedback on my CA trip that I was scary thin, I got professionally measured for body fat percentage this week. I’m actually around 9% body-fat when measured correctly. That means, my goal of 10-12% by November has been hit, and it’s time to start increasing calories and adding more muscle.
Speaking of goals, we passed $11,000 in fundraising this week. Thanks to everyone who has donated so far. You guys are awesome! But let’s keep going – anyone up for $15,000?
As promised J and I are matching the first $10,000 in donations with a $2,500 donation of our own.
Subjective Data
Back to swimming and lifting after my rest week. My swimming form continues to improve. My lifting continues to be fun.
The bad news is I did another run on Saturday, but wore the wrong pair of shoes (I have two pairs that look the same, one of which I meant to throw out). I appear to have bruised the top of my right foot, but hopefully that recovers in time for Friday’s ride.
I was traveling in California for most of the week, and saw a lot of people I hadn’t seen in over a year. The consistent feedback I got was that I’m too thin.
Last week’s rest did me good, and most of my (non-leg) aches and pains are gone. I returned to the weight room as planned. Due to traveling in California, I didn’t get any bike rides in. My swimming was on track though, and my balance and kicking has improved a lot. My running is still problematic, and even though I ramped back to just 5 miles this week, I may have reinjured myself. We’ll see, but I’m staying off my feet until Friday (I’ll do a test ride on Wednesday to make sure my foot is ok). Friday is the start of my 200 mile ride to Providence, RI.
My trip to California was eye-opening. Everyone was shocked by how much weight I lost, and their perspective was valuable. J and I (and our NY friends) have seen the change gradually, so the shock value wasn’t as high for us, but I was at 155 this week from 185 when I left CA. Still, the comments of folks in California convinced me to get professionally measured for body-fat %, instead of relying on my scale. The result is I’m at 9% body fat, when my goal was 10-12% by November.
So I’m switching my diet to “maintain and gain” from “lose” mode. I’m starting to eat more, which means I need to make sure I do good work in the weight room to really take advantage of the extra calories. Nice to have the “feed bag” on again though J
As usual, if you have suggestions, leave a comment, or reach me at “art (at) abclarke.com”.
Plan
This week is all about making the ride to Providence. There is a slight chance I’ll be visible on the CBS Morning Show this Thursday morning (around 7-7:30am EST) if you want to see the group of us doing the Jack Brown Appeal ride (we’re doing a little PR to try to raise extra money). I’ll be riding with 40 British Cops for the appeal J
Stay off leg until Friday except for test ride on Wednesday. Do 80 mile bike ride on Friday, 80 mile bike ride on Saturday, 40 mile bike ride on Sunday, and collapse as an exhausted heap on Sunday afternoon.
Increase swimming to keep pressure off the leg.
Increase calories to 2,875-3,125 calories a day. Keep lifting to take advantage of this.
Keep smiling.
Presentation Notes
No changes to data presentation this week. As with last week, data is presented in SOAP Note format.
This was my first week of running since the injury, and it went well. I only did 10 miles instead of 17 because, well, read the assessment for why. My eating wasn’t good (despite best intentions) and so weight and body fat stayed constant. I still think I have a shot at the Sep 7-9 200 mile bike ride, and at the November 5th marathon.
Subjective Data
This was a “rest week” and I did a good job on that. No lifting. And minimal swimming. On the swimming front, my balance continues to improve a lot with kicking.
Did my first run since my injury. I didn’t do the 17 miles I’d planned; I did 10 miles (see the Assessment for why), and stopped then even though I felt fine. The good news is I was walking the next day, but it definitely caused my tendonitis to flare up a little (not much), so it’s still touch and go for November.
My eating was not good this week (despite my plans). And I’m traveling on business this week, so it’ll be hard to stay on track. That said, I didn’t pig out during the week.
According to plan, this was a rest week with no lifting and minimal cardio. I stuck to that plan with a light swim on Tuesday and Thursday. The big event was a return to running.
My original plan had been do go from no running for 6 weeks to a 17-mile bruiser. I got lots of feedback from the Tubes that this was a, how to put it, spectacularly stupid idea™.
Wow.
I started publishing my progress to keep me motivated to work harder, but I wasn’t expecting to get the benefit of people letting me know when I was an idiot. And I’ll admit now it was a stupid idea. I discussed it with my trainers, and we’ve agreed to ramp me on a different plan with a more gradual ramp back, that hopefully still gets me to the marathon. Thank you to everyone!
So instead, I decided to try one 5.2 mile loop, and then only if I felt fine, potentially do a second. I ended up doing 10.4 miles at a 9.5 minute mile pace on Saturday. I had no pain in my leg, but I know with this injury the pain shows up the next day. The good news is by Sunday my leg felt a little sore, but not bad. I feel I might still have a shot at this.
I didn’t do well on the eating plan this week. I didn’t really pig out any day, but I was consistently 500 calories above target every day (except Saturday where I was spot on). This should lead to maintaining body fat, but not cutting. I’m not really going to be able to adjust much this week as I’m traveling on business most of the week. I’d love folk’s thoughts on what’s the best way to stay active while traveling (an increase in traveling was one of the reasons I let myself get out of shape originally).
For anyone who’s following, I’m also trying to compete in The Six Pack Charity Challenge to raise more money for charity. If you’re interested, go checkout that Facebook group.
As usual, if you have suggestions, leave a comment, or reach me at “art (at) abclarke.com”.
Plan
I’m making big changes in my plan this week.
I’m traveling this week, so it’s going to be hard to keep to my schedule. Still, I plan to lift at least 3 times this week, do 2-3 swims, 1-2 bike rides, and a long run on Saturday.
Keep 2,000-2,250 calories-per-day target to keep weight under control, especially next weekend. I’m going to shoot for staying within target all days except Saturday, but to be only off by 1,000-1,500 calories on Saturday assuming I get the 17 mile run in.
Keep smiling.
Presentation Notes
No changes to data presentation this week. As with last week, data is presented in SOAP Note format.
Did you know, you can sign-up for an e-mail version of every post by clicking here (and you can remove yourself at any time).
This is my 3-month anniversary of starting this blog. How time has flown. Thank you to everyone for their support (both financial and emotional) as I’ve been attempting this. And major thanks to my wife who, on top of everything else she does, somehow finds time to support me in this by listening, editing, and being supportive of the time this takes.
For any new readers I’ve picked up I thought I’d update my cheat sheet for the blog.
A plea for your help to raise money for people suffering from cancer, and for your support as I train for a 200 mile bike ride (September 2007) and the New York marathon (November 2007).
Week by week reports where I “run naked” with transparent data on how well I’m living up to my training commitments. The data is presented in SOAP note format.
There are other posts smattered throughout the blog, but those are the major ones. We’ll see where the next three months takes this.
Per a request from a few weeks ago, the next series of articles are going to be about managing and running naked teams. Stay tuned for “Nudity and the Modern Manager”.
If you have other requests, please e-mail me at “aclarke (at) abclarke.com”. Thanks again,
The CEO of a company I used to work for (we’ll call him “Mike”) was fond of the word “Awesome.”
Actually, “fond of” understates his attachment to the word – it was his catchphrase: Multi-million dollar deals were “awesome”; new technologies were “awesome”; hitting a milestone was “awesome”; hiring a new person was “awesome”; having a good company party was “awesome”; changing the colors of the company logo was “awesome”.
In this series of articles I’ve shown how I rejected the doctrine, dogma and disciplines of organized Catholicism, and how, after almost ten years as a priest of Fundamentalist Atheism, I gave up my vestments and developed doubts (based on the Scientific Method) on the non-existence of Spirituality.
In hindsight I can see a clear rational path to my current spiritual stance, but it would be a lie to say my journey here has been either direct or directed, or that I have reached its final destination. About the only thing I can say with any degree of certainty is that I currently ascribe to the principles of “pragmatism” and “agnosticism”, and these two principles have shown me something unexpected: “Awesome” does not mean what I thought it means.
Whether Mike intended it or not(1), “awesome” is the right word to use. I just needed to open my eyes.
Pragmatic Calvinists
The principle of pragmatism is simple: look at the data and the experiences and draw conclusions that maximize your advantage (independent of your preconceptions). It’s not sexy. Idealism is sexy. Idealism gets the press. Idealism is remembered in history. Revolution always beats evolution for the battle of mens’ hearts.
But pragmatism, unlike idealism, is far more likely to work. And so, given my penchant for trying to tweak my odds of success, I have attempted to apply pragmatism to the concept of Spirituality.
To start, I looked in some detail at many different spiritual frameworks in the world. There are many differences, but I believe there are two common threads (apologies to anyone who thinks simplistic summaries of world religions are offensive):
A moral code to guide and control groups and societies of people that can be summarized as “do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
A belief in the existence of a Spiritual aspect to reality, and a framework for approaching that aspect.
I believe in laziness, and hence pragmatically believe it’s worth learning as much as possible from others.
On the first point, there are many pragmatic arguments for following this code, and so I’m attempting to live by it(2).
On the second point, pragmatism is what led me to see it is impossible to refute the stance of theists. Pragmatism is what makes me realize there may be an evolutionary advantage to exploring Spirituality, and like Calvin above, that it is probably worth my time to don a pair of explorer’s boots and start looking.
And it is pragmatism that ultimately leads me to agnosticism.
Open Agnosticism
I define the term somewhat differently that most dictionaries (which focus on the “doubt” aspect). For me, agnosticism is the willingness to be open to the existence of God(3). It’s the willingness to say “I don’t know”, but be curious to try to know. And I believe if you pragmatically look at the observations I presented in the past few weeks, agnosticism is the only rational choice.
So I have made the philosophical choice to concede it’s possible that God exists. I make no claim that it is probable or “highly likely”, only that it is possible. But I have decided to be open, and I have decided to explore what that means to me.
Dam Pragmatic Agnostics!
This stance may seem a relatively small opening, or change, from the stance of the Fundamentalist Atheist, but it’s not. It is like opening the sluice of a dam to let out one drop of water a year. Once the sluice is open two things happen:
(1) Water begins to flow. This is obvious, but visible and dramatic. The face of the rock begins to get wet and stays wet.
Once I adopted the stance of the Agnostic, once I let a drop of openness seep out, I could no longer dismiss out of hand the faith of others. To be truly open, I had (and have) to challenge myself to understand and discover more. I had to explore what was the biological concept of spirituality. How can one cultivate that sense? I started looking at the mundane and trying to explore what is non mundane or spiritual about it. As a result, spirituality began to seep into my life.
(2) Left to its own, the rate of flow will increase. In a dam, the trickle of water will wear away rock, washers, and doors. It will smooth over hard edges. It will break down barriers. What starts as trickle, with time, becomes a torrent.
For me, it’s been the same with Spirituality. What began as a small crack in my world view has expanded rapidly in the past few years. I find myself wondering more. I find myself looking closer at things I’d previously dismissed as uninteresting. I find myself taking more time to try to observe the universe, and try to see.
I find myself exploring the skyline of Manhattan and wondering how it came to be.
I find myself attending a funeral and seeing both the sadness and the beauty in the occasion.
I find myself watching the floor of Grand Central Terminal and wondering where all the people are coming from and going to. Wondering how some of the most expensive real estate in Manhattan came to be dedicated to a 5-story tall empty atrium, and being so glad it is. Watching tourists create a permanent memory by photographing a commuter on the floor who will never even remember that moment. Watching people dance to avoid each other on the way to their trains, and seeing a scene of gracefulness and grace.
I find myself looking down at the wooden escalators on the first floor in Macy’s on 5th avenue, and realizing that someone cared passionately to keep them on one floor rather than replacing them with the more efficient escalators that are in the rest of the store. And that someone has to know how to care for them. And that someone else needs to make replacement parts. And that thousands of people with different cultures, different pressures, different problems, different joys, cross over them each year. And realizing that all these people share a connection through a set of wooden steps, but never know it.
Awesome!
Conceivably Awesome
The reality of this eludes words for me, but “awe” is the closest word I know of. Ten years ago, I had nothing but bitterness for the ugly world around me. Today, I believe the Universe is truly Awesome, and now I’m so thankful I get to experience it.
It’s an all encompassing emotion and feeling of peace with my surroundings, and one that really helps me through the day. And on days when I’m open to looking for it, I can see it in anything: floors, escalators, families, friends, strangers, lovers and even business deals, milestones, parties, and colors.
It doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days – ask my wife, she’ll tell you I do. It doesn’t mean I believe in any particular instantiation of the Divine, only that the spirituality aspect of nature has become a real concept for me. By being open and trying to experience what spirituality means, I’ve been able (at times) to connect to a harmony I’ve never experienced before.
I can’t say it’ll last – the world of the Pragmatic Agnostic is not a world of certainty. But I intend to keep exploring, and I’m trying each day to be more open, to push more water through. Who knows, my mother could end up being right after all, but I’m no longer scared by that thought.
(1)While working for this company, I often thought Mike didn’t know why he was doing things – that an irrational emotional energy he could not control drove his decisions and actions. I was wrong. As I attempt to start my own business, I’ve discovered that more often than not, Mike knew exactly what he was doing, why he was doing it, and what he needed to achieve with it. He understood the importance of a sense of urgency to creating a successful venture and team, and that emotional energy is the most effective driver of that urgency – I just didn’t understand that at the time. It turns out you don’t grow a $100mm+ business by accident.
(2) One can make the argument that the rule of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is gameable via game-theory much as the Prisoner’s Dilemma is. If everyone abides by the rule all the time, then average value for each person is maximized. But if most everyone abides by the rule and one person doesn’t, that one person can gain a large advantage. Therefore is an incentive to appear to abide by the rule, but not actually do so. This is why I believe most religions introduce both moral punishments and some concept of eternal existence (be it Heaven or Nirvana). Why? Because if the person is caught cheating, their advantage is negated, and if you can extend the concept of existence to infinity, cheaters will always get caught. Now, one can ask in a belief system without a spiritual framework of eternal existence, what’s to stop the pragmatic agnostic from cheating slightly on this, or mostly doing unto others as he would have done unto him? The answer: nothing except transparency. The pragmatic agnostic must run naked, because otherwise the rational person will and should always suspect. Ronald Reagan’s “trust, but verify” must be followed.
(3) As with last week, I am using “God” as shorthand for “spirituality and the existence of God(s)”, not as an endorsement of the philosophy of an omnipotent, omniscience, anthropomorphic father figure.
A. B. Clarke 