Had God made Dog in his own image,
Would angels smell each others butts?

Three kings entered the armory.

The first surveyed the room and alighted upon the Sword of Beauty. Picking up the jeweled hilt, and admiring the calligraphy on the blade, he proclaimed, “here is a sword worthy of my reign! The people will see it and rejoice.” And with that, he entered the arena.

The second surveyed the room and found the Sword of Humility. Grasping the wooden hilt, with its simple cross for a guard, he knelt and prayed, “Lord, may this sword represent that I am but a servant of my people.” And with that, he entered the arena.

The last surveyed the room, and went from sword to sword. Grasping each, he tossed it in his hand, swung once, swung twice, and put it down before moving to the next. Then silently selecting the one that killed best, he entered the arena and became king of them all.

“You dare laugh at me,” snarled Lion at Hyena.
“Your death is assured!”

“Of course, of course,” laughed Hyena.
“Kill the critic, while meanwhile the gazelle romp free and mock you.”

So Lion hunted all the gazelle, and bringing Hyena to the killing fields, he proclaimed,
“Look now Hyena. I am Lion, king of all I see.
As surely as I can do this,
Your death is assured!”

“Of course, of course,” laughed Hyena.
“Kill the critic, while the elephant titter behind your back.”

So Lion slaughtered the elephants, the bison and the rhinos.
He eviscerated the zebras, the wildebeests, and the giraffes.
He massacred the cheetahs, the vultures, and even the other lions.
All fell before his roar. 

And crushing Hyena beneath his giant paw, he said,
“See now, none stand before me.
Your death is assured.
How can you still laugh?”

“Of course, of course,” giggled Hyena.
“You are strong, and you are powerful,
And I will most assuredly die.

But  tomorrow you will find no food,
And my brothers will find you.

And laugh.”

1. It is absolutely impossible to be absolutely right.
2. It is absolutely possible to be absolutely wrong.

Corollary to the Fundamental theorem of software engineering:
All hard problems in morality are solved by introducing an extra level of indirection.

For example: the Devil made me do it.