A. B. Clarke

The Statistician’s Lament

by abclarke

To a reasonable degree of uncertainty, I am the pinnacle of perfection.

From an evolutionary perspective, from the bacteria to the trees to the fishes to the dinosaurs to the monkeys, when sampled from the whole universe and history of potential candidates, I am (within acceptable error bars) probabilistically the ultimate specimen of life . When viewed over the billions (or is it quadrillions (or is it quadrateintillions?)?) of cell-divisions, I am the best life can offer. Darwin’s champion.

And when I run the odds, amongst the possible matches in the world today, I know the chances that you are the most perfect for me asymptotically approaches zero. The mathematics show me that any person picked at random from any place in the world has a statistically similar or better prospect of being right for me.

All of this I know to be true – the numbers do not lie.

Yet, as I watch you walk away, the pain the perfect-me feels at the loss of the imperfect-you … it does not compute.

Getting What’s Coming…

by abclarke

They say the ends justify the means;
but the ends are rarely the end,
and mean means
mean mean ends.

True Strength

by abclarke

tajSome crumple beneath a bundle of feathers, blind to anything but the load.

Others strap the mountain effortlessly upon their shoulders and march, strengthened by the view of the palace they build on the plains below.

And a small few carry the others, ignoring all strain, for in their minds the palace is already built. They must merely dance their steps to make the towers shine in an eternity of future sunrises.

Branding Matters

by abclarke

Given his fearsome rooster-like war cry that matched his costume’s red mohawk, and his super magical strength as a Germanic demon, the fact that his archenemy Spiderman always tittered when he attacked confused and confounded the Cockgoblin.

Let Chaos Reign

by abclarke

Who is more powerful, the lion or the bee?
Who is more important, the lion or the bee?
Without the lion, we will have chaos.
Without the bee, we will have annihilation.
If slaughtering the lion can save the bees,
Let chaos reign.

Tom, Dick, & Harry

by abclarke

Tom was respected because he cared for people, and he was loved because he cared for people.

Dick was respected because he told people the truth, and he was hated because he told people the truth.

Harry was respected because, while he was no Tom, he wasn’t a Dick.

by abclarke

A thought:


– A. B. Clarke

But Not Too Much

by abclarke

Work, but not too much.
Rest, but not too much.
Dance, laugh, revel and party,
Cry, howl, grieve and be somber,
But not too much.

Dote on your child, boast and be proud.
Admonish and discipline to teach.
Show them the beauty and joy in the world.
Point out the horrors, the evils, the dark.
But not too much.

And love.
Love until your heart explodes,
Until your body collapses,
Until the earth claws you back into her body.
Love until every part of you forgets what is to not love.
Love until exhaustion.
Love past exhaustion.
Love until the limit,
And you will find no limit.

Math & The Universe

by abclarke

We continually create narratives, of varying degrees of fantasy, to make order of a world that overwhelms and confuses us, “mathematics” being perhaps the most fantastical narrative of them all.

Math is a story that presumes the universe, far larger than our humble brains can comprehend, was created through a small series of beautifully precise rules.

I don’t know what is more fascinating – the thought of the hubris and insecurity that drives us to imagine that fantasy could be true, or the hope and thought that perhaps it is.

Worst Deal Ever

by abclarke

Spare a thought for the Devil, who must spend eternity enduring Faust’s constant diatribe of bitterness, resentment, and self-pity.