The Dean thanked his footman while alighting from his stage, walked into the hall and strode onto the stage, where the graduation was staged to celebrate the stage his students had reached.

Corollary to the Infinite Monkey Theorem:

Given an infinite amount of time, a William Shakespeare punching at random on a typewriter would almost surely, out of frustration, eventually fling poo.

when I can:
    choose how I spend my time.
when I cannot:
    choose to be content with how I spend my time.

Uberserfs toiling.
Ubermarks coyly deny.
Ubertwits cackle.