By the way, “What subjective data can I gleam…” should probably read “…glean…”

. . . O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love . . .

It occurred to me that the big problem was that S. wasn’t “listening” to the client. This is a bug that creeps up in relationships: often, men are inclined to regard the purpose of communication as “problem solving” whereas women regard the purpose of communication as “sharing” . . . and the first mentality leads to objective assessment and thinking and the latter seeks to enhance the “subjective” capability shared between the participants. Do you get what I’m saying?!

Anyway . . . when I learned through painful process of “listening” last year I acquired a “secret weapon” when it comes to getting along with ladies that should be issued to every young man when he is ready to deal with the fairer gender . . .

I also like the advice of framing “asking for feedback” in the form of “what can be better” . . . in the professional world, a lot of folks would just as soon avoid you than diss you, but if you sell it as market research they will be more than happy to indulge you with their frustrations.

Though, I suppose it also helps to be a good listener.

-danny

Congratulations on undertaking your life changes — and thank you for opening up this way. Will email to follow up.